KAYLA MUELLER, the LIGHT that SHONE in the DARKNESS

Kayla Mueller, a 26 year old aid worker, was taken hostage by the Islamic State (IS) in August 2013. She was taken captive along with her Syrian colleague. On Friday, February 6, IS released information stating that Kayla had perished in an airstrike over Syria by Jordanian forces. This fact is still being disputed. Her parents, Carl and Marsha, refused to believe she was dead until IS provided proof. Among the proof delivered by IS were three photographs sent to the grief-stricken family that were made public on Tuesday, February 10. Two were of Kayla wearing a black hijab and one, that I find curious, is Kayla in a white burial shroud that is consistent in traditional Muslim funerals.

Kayla was an idealistic young woman wanting to better the world. She went about it in an ordinary way by giving comfort to the downtrodden. What is extraordinary is the impact her short life has had. Even as a teenager she found ways to help or make her peers aware of the atrocities happening around the world. Her spirit of love and forgiveness has touched all of our hearts and our lives.

When I first read Kayla’s letter to her parents, my tears flowed when she wrote, “If you could say I have 'suffered' at all throughout this whole experience it is only in knowing how much suffering I have put you all through; I will never ask you to forgive me as I do not deserve forgiveness.” These words are words of love for her brokenhearted parents. In fact, her letter is the spur that there is hope for humanity when she said, “I have come to a place in experience where, in every sense of the word, I have surrendered myself to our creator b/c literally there was no else”.

This statement in her handwriting gives us an in-depth awareness of who Kayla was. “The thought of your pain is the source of my own, simultaneously the hope of our reunion is the source of my strength. Please be patient, give your pain to God. I know you would want me to remain strong”.


KAYLA’S Letter to her parents:

If you are receiving this letter it means I am still detained but my cell mates (starting from 11/2/2014) have been released. I have asked them to contact you + send you this letter. It’s hard to know what to say.
Please know that I am in a safe location, completely unharmed + healthy (put on weight in fact); I have been treated w/ the utmost respect + kindness. I wanted to write you all a well thought out letter (but I didn’t know if my cellmates would be leaving in the coming days or the coming months restricting my time but primarily) I could only but write the letter a paragraph at a time, just the thought of you all sends me into a fit of tears.
If you could say I have “suffered” at all throughout this whole experience it is only in knowing how much suffering I have put you all through; I will never ask you to forgive me as I do not deserve forgiveness. I remember mom always telling me that all in all in the end the only one you really have is God. I have come to a place in experience where, in every sense of the word, I have surrendered myself to our creator b/c literally there was no else….+ by God + by your prayers I have felt tenderly cradled in freefall.
I have been shown in darkness, light + have learned that even in prison, one can be free. I am grateful. I have come to see that there is good in every situation, sometimes we just have to look for it. I pray each each day that if nothing else, you have felt a certain closeness + surrender to God as well + have formed a bond of love + support amongst one another…
I miss you all as if it has been a decade of forced separation. I have had many a long hour to think, to think of all the things I will do w/ Lex, our first family camping trip, the first meeting @ the airport. I have had many hours to think how only in your absence have I finally @ 25 years old come to realize your place in my life.
The gift that is each one of you + the person I could + could not be if you were not a part of my life, my family, my support. I DO NOT want the negotiations for my release to be your duty, if there is any other option take it, even if it takes more time. This should never have become your burden. I have asked these women to support you; please seek their advice. If you have not done so already, [REDACTED] can contact [REDACTED] who may have a certain level of experience with these people.
None of us could have known it would be this long but know I am also fighting from my side in the ways I am able + I have a lot of fight left inside of me. I am not breaking down + I will not give in no matter how long it takes.

I wrote a song some months ago that says, “The part of me that pains the most also gets me out of bed, w/out your hope there would be nothing left…” aka -­ The thought of your pain is the source of my own, simultaneously the hope of our reunion is the source of my strength. Please be patient, give your pain to God. I know you would want me to remain strong. That is exactly what I am doing. Do not fear for me, continue to pray as will I + by God’s will we will be together soon.

All my everything, Kayla


There are no harsh words in her letter, only words of surrendering to God and words of encouragement and comfort for her parents. She was the light that shone in the darkness.

RED SONJA2015(C)
Pray, Fight, NEVER GIVE UP!

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