The Chilean Mine Scandal
by Eric Golub on October 15, 2010 at 1:56 PM
If even one person had died in the Chilean mine, this column never would have been written. Only because all 33 miners and every rescue worker is safe, can we go back to normal quickly.
(The miners should be so lucky.)
It is time to talk about the Chilean Mine Scandal.
I found out what caused the Chilean mine to collapse.
The truth must be told.
It was a conspiracy between Karl Rove and the Chamber of Commerce.
(Meanwhile, praise President Obama for single-handedly rescuing all 33 miners as he promised during his 2008 presidential campaign to earn Chile’s beta male of the year award, which he donated to fellow beta male Joy Behar.)
The pieces are all in place. Ignoring them is not acceptable.
The miners were Chilean. They speak Spanish.
President George W. Bush speaks Spanish.
President Bush’s top political director is Karl Rove.
There was even a meeting between George W. Bush and the Chilean president several years ago. Karl Rove was in the room.
Conservatives will insist that this was just a normal state dinner with another head of state, but that is what the vast right-wing conspiracy wants us all to think.
The president of Chile was in on it. He is a conservative. He and President Bush, with help from Karl Rove, plotted to have 33 miners trapped so that worldwide sympathy would allow a conservative leader to become a folk hero by immediately rushing to the scene. Fox News wanted to capture the footage of conservative leadership to prop up the right wing column, which I believe is the fifth.
(The same amendment many politicians invoke and the amount of gin they drink, but enough about the Kennedys.)
After all of the miners were rescued, the phrase “Mission Accomplished” was said by one of the Chileans. This was a coded message of support for President Bush.
So how does the Chamber of Commerce fit in?
What were the men rescued in? What was the cylinder device?
That’s right…a chamber.
What were the miners doing when the mine caved in?
They were mining.
Why were they mining?
It is their job.
What is another word for job?
Business…also known as…
What were the men mining for?
What is copper?
What is another commodity?
That’s right, Big Oil was behind this. Dick Cheney used to be CEO of Halliburton. Vice President Cheney answered to President Bush, who employed Karl Rove.